Proverbial Puke

To those of you...to any of you who read my blog.

First off, thank you for taking time out of your life to read this.
Secondly, you may remember I recently mentioned James has been really my book of the Summer.

Tonight, Bianca Juarez finished her 6 week study of 'The Scandalous Message of James.'

I was estactic to go to the series, first because I look up to Bianca through podcasts and teachings and her blog so much. She always makes me want to keep running for Jesus, and I imitate her as she imitates Christ.

Second, because I love bible studies, and this was my first "grown-up" bible study- if you will.

I soon learned I was to have my booty kicked. Like a serious whooping from this book.

Even though I've only listened to 3 weeks, (the other weeks I've been away-but I downloaded them, and will listen to them!) I have been radically challenged.

Tonight the resounding theme of patience and testing throughout James 5 struck me.
He speaks of farmers waiting for their crops to plant (ironic, see the post below), and verse 8 speaks of ESTABLISHING YOUR HEART. Another translation says "take courage."

C.S. Lewis said "Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at its turning point."

How am I to apply this to my life?
The opposite of courage is not fear, it is indifference.

I must be courageous, and do things I would normally not. In this,
I must stop apathy.

I was talking to a friend recently about how I am different at church than at home.

At church, I'm bubbly and loud, and outgoing. And at home, I'm usually most of these things, but I can be moody, tempestuous, and downright vile.

Footnote: I have not had a "bad" upbringing. My parents are still married. My dad has a job. My life is pretty overall "good." I am truly a blessed lady.

But everyone still has problems. I still deal with battles with the scale, with sarcasm out of my mouth, pride, etc.

What a wretched woman I am! I do the things I wish not to do. The things I wish to do, I don't do!

James annialated me tonight, it was truly standing before a mirror. Suddenly, I couldn't bear my reflection of my facade any longer. I went running back to Jesus Christ, where He reminded me of His love.

I felt ashamed, exposed, naked as I recorded this in my journal and to my blog. Bianca had a great point. She said "When our Savior was on the cross. He had a loin cloth. Think of how exposed he was."

Christ was literally exposed. I am figuratively exposed. But I just tooky a tiny step of courage.

As James 5:16 says, "Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed."


If you have confessions, leave them here and I will pray. Pinky promise!

Thank you, that's all my proverbial puke for now. =)

PS Check out Bianca's Blog... http://blog.inthenameoflove.org/


PSS I love quotes, and here's a good one of St Augustine! "The confession of evil works is the first beginning of good works."